If someone held a gun to my head and said give one, and only one, advice to anyone ever, it would be this - learn and practice how to build routines for yourself. I often think a lot of things that I’ve achieved till now have been due to opportunities, luck or motivation. These are all true in their own aspect but if I really think about it and ask myself what made these achievements actually materialise? Hands down it would be going through the pain and struggling to force myself to stick - to a plan, to an idea or to a project.
There are 30 trillion blogs and innumerable self-help books that tell you that sticking to a routine is the backbone of any success you will have in life. Don’t worry, I won’t lecture about how it is absolutely essential that you make a routine and stick to it or what makes a perfect routine (there is nothing known as a perfect routine!). But if I can offer you a fresh perspective through my journey, I would consider my job half done.
Motivation - why it works and doesn’t work at the same time
This is what everyone thinks is needed to achieve a goal, including myself. Well, intrinsically everyone is correct - we do need motivation for our goals. Motivation is what inspires us to make a change. Think of it like the spark that fuels your fire. Without the initial spark, there is no fire.
It turns out that there are two types of motivation - extrinsic (from the outside) and intrinsic (from the inside). Extrinsic motivation occurs when we are motivated to do something to earn a reward or avoid punishment. Think - working harder to earn a bonus, participating in competitive sports or finishing your work on time so that you’re not reprimanded. Intrinsic motivation involves doing something because we find it personally rewarding. Think - working out to feel good or reading for leisure.
Both types of motivation are required and one cannot do without the other.
But is it really all that it takes?
While motivation may be super important to get the ball rolling, unfortunately it can be fleeting. I can’t recount the number of times I have started a new workout routine but given up after day 3 because I just didn’t feel like it anymore. “Oh well, that’s just who I am”, I would say to myself and sleep in late once again. Did it really mean that I was just not made to be a workout person? Absolutely not.
Spoiler alert: We’re all actually very good at routines
If you really think about it, we are all very good at routines! Everyone has a lot of routines that they have made for themselves, without actually realizing it. Showering, brushing your teeth, eating food at one particular time, walking to your office/bus stop - aren’t they all routines? It takes a lot of effort to do these things every day, it’s just that those acts may not have been considered as routines as they do not fall under the category of "self-improvement." But routines they are.
That’s the beauty of a routine - you do it till it becomes a part of your existence. You do it till it is second nature to you, no brain power is required. But for that to happen - is it easy? Hell, no! Sticking to a routine is the hardest part. Motivation is easy, following something that comes naturally is easy but the middle part? Super tough. The middle part is where you need to really push yourself even when that’s the part that makes you want to give up.
Start small
In retrospect, could I actually get up in the morning at 5:30 and do rigorous strength training from day 1 when I hadn’t done any form of consistent exercise in years? This might have been my day 40, 70 or even 365. Was I even setting myself up for success? I guess not.
Think of your end goal, break it down into smaller goals and then be realistic. If your goal is to eat more healthy foods, and currently not even a single meal is balanced, wouldn’t it be more sustainable to switch just one meal to a more nutritious one? By doing this you’re setting the groundwork for a successful routine. Eventually, when you achieve your first goal, your motivation comes again to go after the second smaller goal - from switching out one meal to two meals.
The takeaway
Learning how to stick to a routine, without getting bored of the process, is something I had to learn and it really wasn’t easy. I still struggle with it at times. I would say give yourself the grace to fall out of a routine and trust you can get back into it. As we learnt, we all are very good at routines.
